Food news, restaurant reviews, and other tomfoolery.


Teacher Daniel

February 14, 2006

Daytona…the queer race that America Adores

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Written by: Daniel
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JG24Drive45n06: dumbass
deconstructacon: fuck off doucheface
JG24Drive45n06: so i’m thinking about going to florida to do an
internship
JG24Drive45n06: for next summer
JG24Drive45n06: i don’t know if i could just pick up and leave like
that though
deconstructacon: do it…it’ll be good for you…this area sucks ass
bubbles
JG24Drive45n06: yeah but how do you just move away from everyone you
know
JG24Drive45n06: that sucks
deconstructacon: they’re going to do it eventually
deconstructacon: it’s a part of life and growing up
deconstructacon: at least you’ll be doing what you want and you’ll be
successful
JG24Drive45n06: yeah but they don’t intend on moving to a completely
different region
JG24Drive45n06: yeah but you know i don’t like people
deconstructacon: you could move to the country…with all the pigs
and chickens
JG24Drive45n06: i would have to move to daytona
JG24Drive45n06: and i don’t like hot weather
JG24Drive45n06: it’s either that or NYC
JG24Drive45n06: and i really don’t like the city either
deconstructacon: trust me…delaware and PA will get old…
JG24Drive45n06: it’s not moving that bothers it
JG24Drive45n06: it’s moving far away
deconstructacon: moving close or far, it’s all the same
deconstructacon: I think….look, most of your friends are going to
get jobs and move on
deconstructacon: they’re not going to stay in the area forever
deconstructacon: my friends who’ve stayed in the area hate themselves
and wish they did something with their lives
deconstructacon: it’s the economics of life
deconstructacon: plus…you might be able to drive one of those fancy
cars one day
deconstructacon: and you wouldn’t get a ticket doing it
deconstructacon: I’m starting to like James Blunt…his music is
pretty good
JG24Drive45n06: meh
deconstructacon: I’m just trying to drink enough until I pass out
JG24Drive45n06: what are you drinking?
deconstructacon: whiskey
deconstructacon: only one
JG24Drive45n06: jimmie johnson’s qualifying run was dq’ed
deconstructacon: what’s dq’ed
deconstructacon: disqualified
deconstructacon: ok
deconstructacon: why because he ate too many sausages?
JG24Drive45n06: no
JG24Drive45n06: b/c he supposedly ran with illegal quarterpanel
window measurements
deconstructacon: So his jimmy wasn’t up to the required johnson length?
deconstructacon: heheh
JG24Drive45n06: this is bad
JG24Drive45n06: johnson and gordon are on the same team and now
johnson has to start at the rear of the field
JG24Drive45n06: so they can’t draft with each other
JG24Drive45n06: drafting is a very important element of restrictor
plate racing
JG24Drive45n06: take notes, i’m schooling you in the art of nascar
deconstructacon: so jimmy was going to dock his johnson on Gordon’s
ass dock?
JG24Drive45n06: more or less
deconstructacon: this is really gay
deconstructacon: so is Gordon the bottom or the top?
JG24Drive45n06: gordon’s starting on the pole for the second gatorade
duel and on the outside pole for the 500
deconstructacon: HE’S STARTING ON THE POLE!!!!!!!!
deconstructacon: hahaha
deconstructacon: is the outside pole for the 500 like a gang bang thing?
JG24Drive45n06: the daytona 500 retard
JG24Drive45n06: starting on the pole means you are starting first in
the field
deconstructacon: The daytona 500 pole position gang bang with jimmy
johnsoning gordon’s dock
JG24Drive45n06: well johnson won’t be docking on anything unless he
does well in the first gatorade duel
deconstructacon: so if they start first does that mean they get the
most cock?
deconstructacon: hahahah
JG24Drive45n06: no…everyone is pretty much ramming the shit outta
everyone else
deconstructacon: gatorage duel! this is so funny…so is Nascar like
a Greek thing?
deconstructacon: wow…I’ve gotta tell Henry about this shite
deconstructacon: he’s probably already creaming his ass dock
JG24Drive45n06: weirdo
deconstructacon: so…why do you want to work for all these guy? I
mean it sounds like really…gay
deconstructacon: would you be like the head lubricant?
JG24Drive45n06: information technology you butthead
deconstructacon: so you would give them information and the
technology so they know which butts they can dock and butt right?
JG24Drive45n06: no
deconstructacon: Wow…before tonight I thought all they did was
drive around in a circle. I sure have become edjumacated tonight
JG24Drive45n06: when they bump draft, or as you like to call it, ass
dock, each other they go faster
JG24Drive45n06: 2 or more cars together move faster than one
JG24Drive45n06: haven’t you ever seen that movie days of thunder?
deconstructacon: so when the come together they REALLY CUM
together…right?
deconstructacon: oh, days of thunder is your argument
deconstructacon: everyone knows that Tom Cruise is gay
JG24Drive45n06: you are gay
deconstructacon: nope…tom cruise…is gay, you know he’s in Mission
Impossible
JG24Drive45n06: in the race yesterday the last place car won 30 grand
JG24Drive45n06: there are lots of people that don’t make 30 grand in
a year
deconstructacon: penises?
deconstructacon: I do!
JG24Drive45n06: ok well the first place car made 212 grand
JG24Drive45n06: for 2 hours of driving
JG24Drive45n06: that’s insane!
deconstructacon: I don’t make that 
deconstructacon: yeah and they get pleasured the whole time for it!
JG24Drive45n06: not the whole time
JG24Drive45n06: yesterday a car “ass docked” someone else and caused
a wreck
deconstructacon: well I guess they have to take for some of the time
deconstructacon: you can’t always give it right.
JG24Drive45n06: a wreck gordon got caught up in and he wasn’t even
ass docking anyone at that time
deconstructacon: if someone gets their penis wrecked, can they play
again? can they fix it in the pit?
deconstructacon: oh, the pit dudes, how do they fix the penis?
JG24Drive45n06: it depends on what’s wrong with it
deconstructacon: are they all like trained gynocologist and shit?
JG24Drive45n06: sometimes they gotta bang out the shaft lololol
deconstructacon: or penalcologist
deconstructacon: hahahah
deconstructacon: or lube the nuts
JG24Drive45n06: no none of that
JG24Drive45n06: oh hey guess what
deconstructacon: what?
JG24Drive45n06: remember that offshoring paper i was asking you about?
deconstructacon: yeah
JG24Drive45n06: turns out my teacher guy really liked it and wants to
use it as an example in class
deconstructacon: great
deconstructacon: what did you say?
JG24Drive45n06: i could send it to you
deconstructacon: ok
deconstructacon: dude, just e-mail it, it’s going to take like 10 years
JG24Drive45n06: no it’s not
JG24Drive45n06: it’s only a word document
deconstructacon: but this program doesn’t work well
JG24Drive45n06: just do it
deconstructacon: I did and it says connecting to User to Start Transfer
deconstructacon: hey you know what you should learn?
JG24Drive45n06: do you like chicken wings?
deconstructacon: yeah!
JG24Drive45n06: what should i learn?
deconstructacon: Flash
deconstructacon: it’s the future
JG24Drive45n06: wanna come over to watch the daytona 500?
deconstructacon: when?
JG24Drive45n06: i’m not going to be a programmer
JG24Drive45n06: sunday
deconstructacon: cool
deconstructacon: what are you going to be?
JG24Drive45n06: and information technologist
deconstructacon: so hardware?
JG24Drive45n06: i fix things and help people make things work
deconstructacon: yeah, but flash is easy and you could make really
good money from it.
deconstructacon: www.happytreefriends.com
deconstructacon: go there…it’s funny
JG24Drive45n06: i don’t really like coding
JG24Drive45n06: the 500 is on sunday
JG24Drive45n06: i work sunday morning until like noon
deconstructacon: ok. I’ll be there. should I bring anything?
JG24Drive45n06: beer
deconstructacon: kewl
JG24Drive45n06: it’s like a 4 hour race so i hope you’re prepared
deconstructacon: 4 hours! so lots of beer
JG24Drive45n06: i’m not going to my 2 o’clock class on thursday cuz
i’m watching racing
JG24Drive45n06: tis funny

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About the Author

Daniel
Daniel Gray is a Korean adoptee that returned to Korean in 2005 because he wanted to try and find his birth mother and to learn about Korean culture. He started a restaurant review blog in 2007, www.seouleats.com, that became a local and international hit. He and his blog has been featured in the New York Times, Monocle Magazine, The Kimchi Chronicles, Bizarre Foods, Rudy Maxa, Olive Magazine, Euronews and much more. He now is a partner at O’ngo Food Communications (www.ongofood.com), which is a culinary tourism and consulting company that offers Korean cooking classes and restaurant tours to travelers. Their food tours and cooking classes are ranked as one of the top attractions in Seoul according to tripadvisor.




 
 

 
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