Thursday, March 26, 2009

I hate the Korean Dunkin Donuts

,Here's something that's been on my mind for a while and it has errked me to no end. IF I EVER SEE ANYONE WATERING DOWN MY COFFEE AT DUNKIN DONUTS AGAIN THEN I WILL SHOVE BERETS THOSE YOU WEAR WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.

When I think of Dunkin Donuts, I think of Denis Leary who said:

Been in Dunkin' Donuts lately? The last bastion of coffee-flavored coffee? It's gone. Forget about it. You walk in there now, there's people wearing berets, they're writing poetry on computers, there's a kid behind the counter: "Would you like a coffee kuhlata?"

Fuck no!! Coffee Kuhlata -- what the hell is that all about? Man, when I was a kid, Dunkin Donuts had two things -- coffee, and donuts, and that WAS IT! You took the donut, you dunked it in the cofee, thus the fuckin title of the place! Duuuuuuuuuukin DONUTS!

That's all the had, donuts and coffee, nothing else, no ice, no napkins, no soda, no salt, no pepper, no parfait, no croissants, NOTHING! You walk in there now, there's soup flying around, people are eating finger sandwiches... They got donuts on display in a case, like relics from a former era, you know. 'Here's what we used to serve. We used to fry 'em up and sell them by the dozen, back in the 70's.'

Yeah, that's not the case in Korea. It's got strawberry cakes and berry couple donuts and little cakes in the shape of teddy bear heads (Where's the Bear Claw!). It's just scary and they water down coffee. Can someone tell me why?

I think it has to do with the Korean tea culture. I like my coffee thick and black. I want it to give me antacid as it goes down, but I've found that this taste is just too strong for many of my Korean friends. They like to water it down. They will use water. I mean, I've offered milk- to me that makes sense, but water?

To me, its an insult because I grind my beans myself and then I slowly coax out the black energy with an orchestrated dousing of hot water. Coffee has a very specific ratio of beans to water and if you go above or below, you have a very different product.

Dunkin Donuts, leave my coffee alone.