Dear Groupon and Coupang and all other Coupon discount... companies?,
Thank you so much for taking the call me and email me and even stop by my office with promises of millions of customers filling my classes and tours. Thank you for your promises of making my company a world-wide brand through giving classes at 50% off with a hefty portion (20-25%) of the remainder to go to you as a "helper's fee"; with an extra 10% going to the government.
Thank you so much for offering me any money at all to pay for my utilities, my staff salaries, and rent.
I apologize for not taking part in your incredible deals that will make me rich beyond imagination and I wish you luck in your endeavors.
Maybe there is a restaurant or business desperate for your "marketing skills." And maybe those coupon seeking customers will become regular customers. Maybe those customers would be happy to pay 100% or even 150% more for the same food the next time they visit.
After all, the best way to build a brand is to make it cheap and just give it away.
Thanks again and maybe when I go blind and crippled and unable to do my own marketing, I will contact you.