An Unprocessed Rant.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Your body’s all you've got. It is the first and last line of defense against any, and every of the many lurking opportunistic bio-evils. I’d rather eat a hearty grub than a processed piece of puffed plastic child-treat.

The Conflicted Glutton never rests. He is conflicted because health is his chosen path, but gluttonous because the path is laden with all of this food lovers favorite foods. On the right there is bittersweet dark chocolate. To the left, bacon cheeseburgers. Further on down the line a zig, or a zag is required to sidestep the jar of strawberry jam. How many times has he tripped while attempting a zig only to land face-down in that jar of jam? He will go for the jam like a vicious hyena and run it off in the morning.

It’s a hard case being a health nut and a food nut simultaneously. I’m addicted to endorphins as well as calories and carbohydrates. I’ve long rejected these fad diets that rely on limitation to achieve success and gone the route-the much happier and stress-free route-of, simply put, allowing myself. I've transformed my body into a calorie-burning machine and fear not any gorging that I am bound to do. I know every calorie and carbohyrate will be put to good use. Hell, I need those things...

Yes, my favorite food is the bacon cheeseburger. Actually, I prefer what I call the ’morning burger.’ This burger is a bacon cheeseburger topped with a fried egg. Cole slaw, and an onion ring are wise additions. Rarely, though, do I go near processed foods such as white breads (the bun), condiment sauces (the ketchup), fried foods (the yahng pah ring), or mayonnaise (in the coleslaw).
Processed foods are really the things to avoid if you want to take the healthy road. It’s really as simple as eating everything and anything you want-so long as it is not processed. An easy (but not definitive) way to determine whether or not something is processed is by asking yourself where the food came from. If it came straight from the earth, with little human tinkering before reaching your plate then, no, it is not processed-unprocessed. But, on the other hand, if the food in question is of an unnatural color, unnatural form then chances are it has been processed. This is not the be-all, end-all criteria, though. Take sun dried tomato paste, for example. Perfectly healthy food that has obviously been toyed with before finding your tongue. Eat it. It’s delicious. Kimchi is another good example. Eat that, too. Don’t eat cake, cookies, candy, white foods such as white bread, or other processed grains. They’ll kill ya. I just returned home from Baskin Robbins, by the way. Don’t eat that, either.
Processed foods are already broken down for ya. Unprocessed foods have not yet been broken down leaving the hard work for your body. This is what you want. You want your body to do the work that it was designed to do.
Keep it simple. Keep it natural. Keep it earthy. Allow your body to get in touch with earth’s flavors (I recommend omitting salt for a little while to allow your tongue to learn how foods really taste) and your pallet isn’t the only thing that will greatly benefit.

As food people we need to look out for our bodies. That's what I'm really sayin' here. I could go on forever typing out all of the health information I have snagged along the way but then this wouldn't be a rant. Those hotdogs were wretchedly delicious, by the way. I vomited four times after taking in them, and loads of other foods, while celebrating American independence at VIPS. That's another blog...

Peace & Health,
Egbert

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