You wrote a lot and I commend your enthusiasm, but please focus on quality over quantity. Good writing should be direct, easy to grasp for the reader, and insightful. And it's always better to show through examples, figurative language, description, etc rather than by telling me about what you are telling me about.

And remember what Mark Twain said,

"I'm sorry. I didn't have the time to write you a shorter letter."

Am I being too harsh?