Yeah, so back in the day, I thought that bagged popcorn was pretty ingenious. That was until I found out that those bags were made with unhealthy chemicals and the popcorn inside had lots of preservatives and stuff.

Alton Brown did a show on how to make perfect popcorn, so I decided to see if it would work. Here's Alton's recipe:

Alton Brown's Plain Brown Popper

* 1/4 cup good quality popcorn
* 2 teaspoons olive oil
* 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt or popcorn salt
* Sprinkle jalapeno seasoning mix
* Paper lunch bag
* Stapler

Toss the popcorn with the olive oil, salt, and jalapeno seasoning mix in the paper bag. Fold the top of the bag over and staple the bag twice to close. Place the bag in the microwave and microwave on high for 2 minutes to 3 minutes, or until there are about 5 seconds between pops.

(NOTE: Popcorn salt is a super-fine salt that is designed especially for sticking to food such as popcorn. It has the taste of regular table salt, but its granules are much finer.)

So where can you find brown lunch bags? Ask your friends in the military to pick you up some bags. You can get popcorn kernels at your local mart.

I like my popcorn with a dash of tabasco and lots of nutritional yeast.