Stop Naming Dogs After Food! Cute Korean Dogs Korean dogs are cute. They are well groomed with their pink floppy ears and their trimmed tails with a pom-pom at the end. The outfits are quite lavish as well. The dogs can be dressed up like a cute princess, a buff Superman, or even a bumblebee. Usually the Korean dogs are smaller malteses, pugs, and poodles. They seem well loved and many look like they live a luxurious life evidenced by all the high-end bags they are carted around in. Overall, the dog life in Korea seems all right. Sure, it SEEMS all right.  However, when I ask about what the dog's name, most of the time they are usually named after foods such as Bap (rice), Mandu (Dumpling), Dubu (Tofu), Tanggun (carrot), Kimchi. I have even met one unfortunate dog named Gogi (Meat). Seriously, why is it that most Korean dogs I have met are named after food? Seriously, what's up with that?! Korea already has a negative reputation because it consumes dog mea...

Argh! Me so angry! I so angry I wants to stabs everybody!! Aaaarrrrrggggh. Ok. Korea, let's talk. I understand that you would love to usurp Vietnam for the most underground tunnels by building subways. New subway lines are good. They make the roads less congested and it's better for the environment. Let me reiterate new subway lines are good thing. But, that is not the problem, the problem is that when you build a new line that is connected to an existing station, there is no reason to renumber all the exits. When you do this you cause thousands of people to get confused and you cause everyone to get frustrated and they want to starts stabbing! Now stabbing is not good and many kids carry box cutters for school so they would kill most of the adults and then Gangnam would be in the hands of stressed out kids that study too much in order to make their tiger mommies happy. (deep breath) What I propose is that in the future you should keep the existing numbering of th...

My "American" Family I am sick and tired of Korean TV show producers and journalists asking me to help them round up white people so they can have them parade around on TV and tell everyone how delicious Korean food is! I mean seriously, they need to do their own research for their shows and get their own people. Also, they love to push this agenda that America is full of white people and that their "white opinion" is the only opinion that matters. Let me enlighten you: America is multicultural and everyone of them is just as American as every white person. Just today I got another phone call- actually it was the same person that called my school asking us to do a class for them having white people (Blacks Hispanics generally don't count) make and eat kimchi chiggae and doenjang chiggae and then eat it while expounding how they think that it is so healthy and not spicy and it is full of vitamins and calcium and other stuff. The conversation was going fine a...

Folks, I have to tell you- Korea is not a third world country. As someone that runs a culinary tourism business in Korea, I often encounter people that have never been in Korea before. Or, if they have been in Korea for business or layovers, they have been too scared to venture into the "scary city." When I meet guests, they often seem weary and cautious. Women clutch handbags as if every permed 40-something women holding an umbrella and every pleated-pants-wearing older man is out to rob, rape or mug them. The men often hide their wallets in hidden fanny packs and once I had a guest pay me by taking money out of his shoe. Folks, Korea is safe (except for North Korea...but that is a remote threat much like the idea of Cuba attacking Disney World), we don't have problems with earthquakes or tsunami's (70% of the country is covered by mountains- I think Korea is a corn on the foot of the earth). I often tell my family and friends the North Korean threat is live on CN...

Interesting, apparently the Happy Lunatic's rant on coffee made it onto Daveseslcafe.  And now there are even more people adding to my rants. Here's one from Bloopity Bloop. I didn't sleep enough last night and even though I really had to take a piss, I didn't want to get out of bed when I woke up. I just laid there among my mass of floral blankets and pillows with a painful grimace on my face. I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT GLASS OF MILK LAST NIGHT! After 10 minutes, I couldn't take the pain any longer and stumbled to the john. When I let the dam open, I yelled, "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOMMMM!" with my hands raised. Upon looking back at my overly yellow river (my life is in dire need of more water), I noticed that it had meandered into undesired places. DANGIT. The realization that I'd have to clean my bathroom for the first time in 8 months hit me like my dad back in '97 (REALLY HARD). But looking at the clock, I realized I only had about 15 minu...

image from chaemii.blogspot.com I am quite hungover today and all that I wanted was a tall coffee with a shot of espresso (called a Red Eye), but I was refused at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Refused! Boo. Also, while I'm the topic, listen up Korea, Coffee is a right and not some foofoo luxury item that you can charge a fortune for. And all of you boutique little roasters charging 20,000 won for a little bag (8oz) of coffee; I hope you all go out of business. All you little roasters suck balls [Oh, except for one in Bucheon (I heart you) ] , because often the coffee you serve comes like a tea cup and has the same hue. Coffee belongs in a mug! A huge mug. You need to be able to grip your whole fist around the handle. But the rest of you need to curl up into a hole and shoot yourself.  By-the-way, I hate the current trend of coffee shops popping up everywhere. I lost one of my favorite little Korean restaurants to a no-name wannabe Starbucks. F-that! All the little Mom and...

Grrr...I wish I could just scream at all the spammers that decided that it's a good idea to go and post stuff on other people's blogs! And because of modern technology, these A$$holes can just use an automated robot to annoy the heck out of people. I just deleted 100 messages from Spambots, so I'm really really really Pissed Off. Oh! And I'm also pissed off at Blogger because they don't add some anti-spam technology such as Askimet like Wordpress! Why doesn't the biggest online search company (Google) get with the times and update their program. Blogger is years behind Wordpress and the other blogging programs and they haven't made any improvements. It's seriously pissing me off. So, why don't I switch? I have switched, but there are years of pageranks and searches imbedded through Google, that makes it almost impossible to do so right now. I did find a solution. Turn off the e-mail to blogger feature in your Settings tab in Blogger and that...

,Here's something that's been on my mind for a while and it has errked me to no end. IF I EVER SEE ANYONE WATERING DOWN MY COFFEE AT DUNKIN DONUTS AGAIN THEN I WILL SHOVE BERETS THOSE YOU WEAR WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. When I think of Dunkin Donuts, I think of Denis Leary who said: Been in Dunkin' Donuts lately? The last bastion of coffee-flavored coffee? It's gone. Forget about it. You walk in there now, there's people wearing berets, they're writing poetry on computers, there's a kid behind the counter: "Would you like a coffee kuhlata?" Fuck no! www.blowme.com! Coffee Kuhlata -- what the hell is that all about? Man, when I was a kid, Dunkin Donuts had two things -- coffee, and donuts, and that WAS IT! You took the donut, you dunked it in the cofee, thus the fuckin title of the place! Duuuuuuuuuukin DONUTS! That's all the had, donuts and coffee, nothing else, no ice, no napkins, no soda, no salt, no pepper, no parfait, no croissants, ...