Seoul Eats

Yan. In the land of Yan, the Demiurge sacrifices himself to the apocalypse. The land is repentfully revieved. The continue their lives of light for a while and then become something darkly sinister. The return to their ways of sin.

The older brother, younger brother. Big sister, little sister. Junior, Senior. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a giant phrat. They are all emotional volcanos in the land of the unrequited.

What is wrong with this culture? Nothing it's just so different from what you're used to. What's wrong with your culture?

I had a dream that I was working for Apple computer and I had to make their server software work faster and to help those with the the software. There weren't that many people who had microsoft networks so I was left waiting around.

I need to write an ad for ETC to hire a new teacher. ETC Dongguk Learning Center in Gyeong Ju, South Korea is in search of enthusiastic teachers to fill ESL teaching positions. Positions become available at the beginning of July and August. ETC is primarily a adult hagwon so most of your students will be from middle school to adult, you might have one kid's class.

I'm trying to get through Ulysseus, but I think I would be better off shoving a long needle into my eye socket and jostling it around. Isaac Newton did it.

I need to visit the doctors. I'm not quite sure what is going on with my body, but I am not invincible anymore. I need to take care of things. I know that I need to go see a dentist. I think I should also try to find a doctor who can test me for diabetes and if he can do something about my eczema. Sigh...how did I come to be this way? I thought I was invincible. I thought I would be young forever. The vehicle seems to be breaking down.

Yes. I was stuck on top of Namsam mountain at night. A monk had to give me a flashlight to help me get down. I fell twice, I got lost in a waterbed but now I'm fucking drunk off of soju and lying in my bed. Well soon at least. I think i could use Namsan to frame another story. The search for myself...in a Dharma Bums sort of way. I got lucky with a cabby and the GalMaeGiSal restaurant server. Boy, do I love her. I"ll tell you the whole story tomorrow.

I was fighting with Gino Veriopolas over how to properly make the Pasticcio. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, but he said, "Danny, now if you just want to slop this together then sure then go on, but you can do better than that. The pasticcio must be properly layered, the potato first, but these, these potatoes are too soft. Feel them, what are you making mashed potatoes? They've got to have some umph to them...some...body. What were you doing, jerking off while the potatoes were being cooked? There's like 10 potatoes that are just boiled to shit, Danny. Alright, alright, let's not get upset here. I'll take care of it. Just go clean off the tables or something." "But I want to learn how to do it." "Danny, there will be other times. Why don't you let me do this now. We have to get ready for dinner tonight." I think that was it. Nothing special. I'm feeling a lot better today. I took the homepathic medic

It was almost revolutionary, but big named studios don't do anything really revolutionary.

that was so fuckin predictable

I don't know if it's the soju or if the movie is actually good. It might be that this is Tom Cruise's fuck off movie. I respect Tom Cruise's intelligence. I think he picked Jamie Fox and he picked the roll because, shit, we are fucking sick of regular hollywood movies. i think he's played the game for so long that now he wants to take a risk and become an enemy, but his ego makes him take this roll. He wants to be an enemy, a bad guy, but HE wants to be THE BAD GUY. I think this is the bad guy. Something is going to happen. We'll see the ending first. I lost Unju today. She gave me the hints, she wants me and I fucked it up. She is the one, one of the ones I could have had. Fuck it...drink...sleep...wake.up...ennui

My mind is clean, but the fruit flies still exist

I am wondering if the reason I want to get the tiny weeny bits of ramen in the bottom of the cup of ramen is because of the MSG

I am getting to the point where movies are not actually useful, but fleeting thoughts. I am simply trying to absorb as much shit as possible. I am lookiing at nuances and fucking sequences and shit. I am looking for something I can use. Fuck it all to hell. I AM BECOMING A PREDATOR.

Movies are the fastest scrapings of memories I can possibly get.

Story idea I would like to write a story about two adolescents. The two would be known as the walkers. Their names would be Lexander and Ares. I would like to model this after the big bang theory and of the ideas of Gnosticism and the Greek gods. I would like characters to be a 12 year old girl named Lexander and her companion, champion, protector and her burden, whom she calls Ares. Ares is extraordinarily strong. He has many powers but mainly he can bring out the potential energy in any object and wield it against them. He can bend light. I don't know what his power is yet, but I would like for him to be missing certain things. Ares always wears a mask, he is missing his left arm and right leg. He has not moved since the beginning of time, imprisoned at the end of the world by a very tall, gaunt, and very savvy and sophisticated Gnosis. Gnosis is similar to Lucifer in ideas, but his quick wittedness provokes a sense of uncertainty. Lexander will go to him and give

I had someone call me hoss. I was playing NHL 98 on the sega genesis. My team was the pittsburgh penguins. My team is decimated from injuries. I think I only had Jagr and Kovalev left on my team. I mean the good players like Larry Murphy, Francis, Nednik, Lemeiux, everyone was injured at the beginning of the game. At opening faceoff my center gets injured. I think I have a team of no names and Jagr left to challenge a regular team. What does my dream mean? I don't know. I had a talk with Raimi last night. Patrick and another Australian girl was there. They were teachers at Gyeong Ju and they were talking about Robert Dickey. Robert Dickey is an american that looks like a beagle with his ears chopped off. As Raimi put it, "he is a sudoriferous, fracical, brown nosing, yankee doodle shithead of a bush licking motherfucker. (Sudoriferous means sweaty.) Do I really want to work at Gyeong Ju? I don't know. My eczema is the worst its been in months. My right th

So I think I'm going to have to unplug from my computer and internet and ipod and camera and cellphone and who knows what else. I'm becoming like Neo in the stupid pod. My muscles are astrophied and I'm really squishy, which is starting to bother me quite a bit. I have learned that I need to self motivate myself, but honestly I don't have that much motivation. I need to get myself onto a schedule. Maybe I need to give up meat or something because it seriously messes up my body. In the last couple of days I settled into the fact that I'm never going to be a beautiful metrosexual man that flashes the rosen chest and perfectly primmed textured hair. I don't think that's what I was every going for, but...I might have been and well I decided that I was happy beginning a average slightly over weight, functionally athletic, above averagely intelligent guy. Is that so bad? I mean I'm not a beast to look at, I mean there are girls that do find me attra

If you don't care, you're capable of anything. Another messed up dream. I don't know what it is that is causing them. They are getting more vivid every night, but every night they are vivid for only minutes before the dissolve into a melonchoy mood that tends to unnerve my students. I need to write them down after I have the dream. I need to write them down after the dream. I need to Deconstruct them to find out what is going on in my life. There may be something brewing under the fissures. My ezcema is getting worse and I don't know why. Something is causing the skin to change. I was almost healed. Maybe it's time to move on or maybe it is time to settle in and accept things for what they are.

New Animated Sitcom concept: The Greek gods done in a funny kind of style. You would have the philandering Zeus married to the extremely jealous and sexually repressed Hera, while Zeus has affairs with the mortal Greek women. Then you have all their children like Ares the rampillion idiot cry baby, the cute baby trickster Hermes, the crazy sportholics Apollo and Artemis/ Artemis' lover Orion, and Eileithyia the barefoot and perpetually barefoot daughter of childbirth. I think that the surrounding neighborhood could have like Dionysius working the bar, Hephestatis as the quiet but genius bum- someone who was never given a chance to really make something of themselves. Of course they wouldn't have television, but they could watch the mortals for pleasure through their clouds in heaven. People would die, but it wouldn't be serious, more in a itchy and scratchy sort of way. After the greeks there is also the Egyptians and the Aztecs. The mythologies could go on and on.

My dreams for the last two nights have been surprising disturbing. I don't really know why. Last night I dreamed that thousands of maggots and bugs swarmed around my room and around me as they spilled unto the ground and I crushed as many of them as possible, but to no avail. Last night I dreamed that I was being attacked by hundreds of blood splattered boys. Their left eyes all blood shot and squinted while the right seemed to be the eye of a wolf set aglimmered by the full moon. Am I going mad? It's mom's birthday. I have to call.

Ideas are America's greatest exports, and ideas are the easiest and most readily stolen.

Stocks are up. I'm up $173.00 in one month. Huh, pretty cool. I guess it's beginner's luck.

I found out last night that I didn't get the job at the University. I mean it's great to know because now I can plan for my future, but shit it looks like my resume didn't even get close to the cut. So what does that mean? I think it means that my future is still up in the air. I have to decide if I'm going to stay in Gyeong Ju or if I'm moving. Japan is still an option, but I learned 2 weeks ago that I can't deal with the pollution in Seoul. I'm looking at Jeju island now or I should get my packet together and apply for Gyeong Ju University. It would be good to have the job. I mean it would be my foot in the door at a real university. I would have 5 weeks of vacation and only like 21 hours of work a week plus one day off during the week. I would have to get a car though. Shit I'm a little disappointed, because I thought Mr. Cheong was going to help me out. I mean I thought they could all help me out. The fortune teller was wrong. But i

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up to the standard for the rest of your life. W.C. Fields

I'm feeling grossy horroshow from the vitimins and nourishmalcontents recieved from the elixir of morning juice. Cynthia is the Nexus of Bad Ju Ju Manic Imagination

I think that David Sedaris talks to me...and only me. I think we're kindred spirits or some shit because he's writing about how he went to France to try to learn the language, but for almost 2 years he could only say a couple phrases. I mean I've been in South Korea for almost 10 months now, but my skills are barely...baby. I don't know exactly what I should do. I mean, I've got a teacher, I record lectures, I used to study (it got too difficult). I think I've come to the realization that I'm not a language person, or the plethora of Marijuana I smoked killed those brain cells. Sigh. Maybe I should try yoga or eat some ginseng to relieve those dead cells. But then I remembered when dead, the brain cells are dead.

I need to study for my Korean class tomorrow. I need to study for my Korean class tomorrow. I need to study for my Korean class tomorrow. I need to study tomorrow for my Korean class. For my Korean class tomorrow, I need to study? Tomorrow I need to study for my Korean class.

I went to Oedo this weekend. Oedo. Wow. Oedo is a private botanical island near the southern coast of South Korea. The entire island is filled with flowers and plants. Many of the flowers are exotic and they are intricately arranged to fill the viewer with a sense of awe and wonder. The island also has many interesting statues. Some of which are well, homoerotic, I think. The ship ride to the island is very interesting because the sea is a bit rocky and quarters being tight, you can feel the rip and roar of the currents of the sea. It is a bit unsettling for a tummy if it indulged in Soju the night before. So I'm on the ship with Jisun, her husband, and her friend Yeonmi and I'm feeling a bit horrorshow - trying not to ralph the soju, bits of kim chi chigge and the kim bap I had for breakfast, when the captain of the boat decides to sell dried octopus on the ship that's like the Titanic hitting the berg! I'm not talking about little bits of octopus, no I'm talk

I bought Apple Computer AAPL at 37.00 and it's at $34.77 now :( I bought Ebay at 33 and it's at 35.00 :| and Martha Stewart, I bought at 17 and it's at 24! :) That Martha is one crafty bitch.

I decided that Rambunctious is a cool word. I'm going to teach the Koreans this word.

I decided that I'm sick and tired of the search. I think I'm ready to settle down. I've been running from something, everything, nothing, whatever for too long and it's time to face reality and find someone that is halfway compatible and then work my ass off to make myself 80-90 percent compatible. Is it possible? How many relationships have I had in which the girls were willing to put up with my bullshit, but my commitment phobic self brought to a hideous demise? There must have been at least 3. So, what's the deal? I have a good job. I'm ambitious, hardworking and I'm going to give up on my dreams for a bit. I've come to the realization that I'm not going to be a famous writer like Stephen King, Haruki Murakami, etc. I think I've spent a great part of my life in search of the unattainable. I'm just not that smart. I am however, a really good teacher. I know that because my students love me and they seem to remember wh

I am taking multitasking to the nth level. Or so I say. Now, I don't know if it is great or what not, but, "Hello, my name is Daniel and I am addicted to my iPod. It started with a couple of songs and then music wasn't good enough, so I started to record lectures and lessons of things that I wanted to learned and now I've moved on to the audiobooks. It started with David Sedaris, then I moved on to "Who Moved my Cheese," "Hamlet," "Aloft" by Chang-rae Lee, and I just purchased, "A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson and "Ulysses" by James Joyce. I now have ambitions of self education. It's becoming too much. It is no longer enough to simply enjoy the music, noooo. Now I have to try to enlighten and better myself. Look at this shit, now I'm blogging and I have a homepage. www.homepage.mac.com/happylunatic (my shameless plug) I am becoming so utterly technologically dependent that I might as w

Hello, Hello. I'm helping my Korean students with a school project. They have to memorize a dialogue about an important tourist attraction in Gyeong Ju, South Korea. They decided to do Poseokjeong which is, well read the dialogue. R: Reporter G: Gyeong Ju citizen Location: Poseokjeong R: This is Kim Hye-ri reporting live for CNN from beautiful Gyeong Ju , South Korea . I am standing at the foot of the majestic Gumgangsam mountain at Pokemonjeong, which is the last historical sight on the list of historical locations in Gyeong Ju and I must admit, the one with the most colorful history. (LEE hears this and knows it is Wrong.) G: Excuse me … but. R: It doesn ’ t look like much now, but this stone snake in t

Midgets shouldn't date Amazon Women. You shouldn't eat meat on a stick, especially if you bought it off the street. There might be a reason for all this insanity, although a reason exists, is it plausible?

Hello Miss Secretary, It is Monday, actually it's Tuesday, but I would still like to consider it Monday because I am still in a Monday frame of mind. I have returned from Seoul and it was a successful trip. I did all the things that I wanted to do and I saw the sights that I deemed sightable and well I ate some very delectable cuisines. I danced in the rain until my friend told me it was acid rain and I got utterly lost on the subways. I had the complete Korean family treatment- with three complete Korean breakfasts (which I must admit is the best among all the cultures in the world.) Yes, Seoul was amazing. I love "Red Mango" yogurt. Have you tried it? It is the best yogurt that I have`ever had. I mean it is a little sweet, but with the tartly refreshing tang that only yogurt can provide and the consistenty- it's like arctic silk. It is so smoothly cold, but it melts like a single snowflake on a molten tongue. I couldn't believe how good it really wa

I just found out today that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm only 25 so I don't quite know what to think about this. It's scary, it's interesting, it's exciting, it's amazing that my little sister is going to bring two lives into this world. Yes, I did say two lives. She's going to have twins and she is only 18. Give me a second to contemplate and let it all sink in. I think my muse arrived today, now do I have the motivation to put it all down on paper and work at it? I'm a lazy fucker you know. Geez, have you noticed how I have the ability to turn everything around to make it all about me. I am an egocentric prick. Anyway, my cute social butterfly sister is going to be a mother and I believe that she is going to be great. Let's see the characters. I have Jill, a sports obsessesed, near anal retentive, slightly caustic but utterly adorable, Korean adoptee. Daniel, the stereotypical sensitive, yet very mentally fucked up drug obsessed

Uncle Dan is a jolly ole fellow. He's a bit strange because he always takes crazy chances and runs around the globe looking for something that he can't really find. He says it's love or experiences, but I really think he's just running away. Uncle Dan is very thoughtful though. Even though distant on designated days he has the ability to surprise you with something that you've always wanted and desired. However, we'd just like him to settle down.

Hello ummm. Hello everybody. My name is William and I am 4 years old. Ummm. It's Monday and on Monday's I have to go to school. I don't like to, but Mommy makes me. Mommy is a nurse, so she always where's white clothes. Some days Mommy sleeps all day, but it's okay, because I have lots of movies. Ummm. Yeah, oh, you wanna hear something funny? Defecate. I think it's a funny funny word. Defecate. My friend Kate is Def so I think it means about that. Yesterday, I went to brown baby pool and Edward he told me I had to Defecate. I told him na ah, and he said ya huh. So I told him he should shove popcorn up his nose and he said I should defecate. Edward is silly because one time he stuck popcorn up his nose and he shot them out by sticking his thumb up the other nose hole and blowing really hard through his nose. He shot Margarita with the popcorn booger. She got really angery so she hit him with her Ken doll. Edward then stuck more popcorn up

The other day, I had a fight with a Korean man. It wasn't a huge fight, but it got me a little peeved. Especially since it wasn't even my fault ( but the incident could have been avoided if I heeded a wee bit of foresight.) Oh, well, so it goes. Wednesday night, I had a party on my porch under the black trash bag weaved tapestry. You see I live on the roof of an apartment complex in a what looks like a little aluminum box. Actually, you know the holding cars on the backs of 18 wheelers? Yeah, that's kinda what I live it. It's divided up into three different compartments and they threw three doors on the front. Inside it is like a little studio apartment you could get in like New York city or something. It doesn't have a stove- instead I have a little propane powered campfire grill, a little sink that groans with the collected weight of plates- held to the wall by the water pipe, oh and I huge full sized refrigerator. It is the irony of my apartment, actually we do